


Whispers In His Dreams

by thatapostateboy



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Grey Wardens, The Calling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-29
Updated: 2014-04-29
Packaged: 2018-01-21 07:35:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1542764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatapostateboy/pseuds/thatapostateboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Anders realises it is time to go on his Calling, he tries to leave without saying goodbye, but Hawke was never one to let go that easily.</p><p>Post DA2</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whispers In His Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> It's my headcanon that after Hawke and Anders escape Kirkwall together, they make their way to Ferelden. They seek the aid of the Warden Commander, and eventually end up staying in Amaranthine and living a normal life with their two children; Malcolm and Bethanne (both mages).

It started with whispers in his dreams.

Ever since the fateful night he undertook the Joining, Anders had experienced the darkspawn dreams that came hand in hand with being a Grey Warden, and it had been since then that he had known that this would happen; the dreams would start to make sense and he would know it was time. But nothing could have really prepared him for it after these long years.

He didn’t know whether he was ready to die yet. After he and Hawke had started their new life together, he had envisaged what it would have been like if they’d been able to live to a ripe old age together, growing old in their little cottage in Amaranthine. But he knew it could never happen, and so did Hawke. She had cursed the Wardens when she found out about the Calling and had cried until Anders made her tea.

Even though he would not be able to live to some grand age, it didn’t stop him from getting older. His hair was starting to grow grey, and his face now had more creases and wrinkles than before. The years had started to show on Hawke’s face as well. The thirty years they’d known each other showed on her face, having been through countless battles, living on the run, starting up a new life and raising two beautiful children together. Their son and daughter, Malcolm and Bethanne, were the most precious thing in the world to him; to them both, and the thought of having to leave them, barely adults, pained him greatly. But it had been a miracle to have had them at all. That’s what he kept telling himself, at least.

Anders going on his Calling had always been a source for argument between he and Hawke, ever since the day she’d found out about it. She’d insisted that she would go with him, to which he would argue that it would be stupid to throw the rest of her life away. It was never settled, and Anders knew what he had to do.

He awoke early that morning, shaking off last night’s bad dreams, slipping slowly out of bed. He pulled some clothes then headed into Beth’s room. She still was fast asleep, messy dark hair sprawled out everywhere, stacks of magic books and pro-mage-rights flyers littered her room. He smiled slightly, crossing the room and pressing a tender kiss to her forehead.

She awoke with a sleepy frown, “Pa…? What time is it?”

“Still early, sweetheart, go back to sleep. I was just checking on you,” he told her, stroking her hair a little, fondly remembering the little girl she had once been, begging to hear more stories, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she murmured, cuddling back into her pillow and drifting back off to sleep.

He watched her sleeping for a moment before leaving, tears already pricking at his eyes as he looked back at her. Next he went into his son’s room. It was smaller than his sister’s, but was equally as cluttered with magic books and piles of half-made staves. Malcolm liked to experiment with different materials, always trying to make something more powerful but less conspicuous. He was up early, as always, carving a pattern into a piece of wood in his hands.

“You okay, Pa?” he asked, looking up at his father.

Anders smiled proudly at him, ruffling his dark hair a little before nodding, “Yeah… I’m headed into the market. Want to go early to beat the crowd. Do you need anything?”

Malcolm reeled off a list of things he needed for a new staff he was working on, but he knew that he wouldn’t get any of the things he needed on a regular market morning in Amaranthine. Anders promised he’d look anyway, leaving the boy’s room as he felt a lump well up in his throat.

He returned to his own bedroom, finding Hawke already stretched out where he had previously been led, face buried in his pillow. He paced slowly over to her, walking with light feet, not wanting to wake her. With a creak of the mattress, he perched beside her sleeping form, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her ear.

“Goodbye, my love,” he whispered, his warm breath making bumps rise on her skin, but she didn’t awaken. He told himself that it would be better this way. If he could leave without her knowing, it would be too late before she could reach him.

He left the room, daring one last lingering glance back at her before tearing himself away, pulling his coat on and leaving the house. He took a moment to take in the sight of the place that he had called home for the last two decades. It really was beautiful, and it seemed so far away from the rest of the world’s problems, and he felt truly free here.

He pulled his coat tighter around himself and set off walking, not looking back.

***

Ever since the Warden Commander had told him of the Calling, Anders had decided that if he ever lived this long, he would travel to the Deep Roads through Orzammar. She had taken him and some of the other Wardens there once, and she had subtly hinted that if they wanted a great send off to the Deep Roads; that was where they would find it.

It was a long journey to the mountains, but when he arrived, he knew it was worth it. One of the guards at the gates asked him if he was a Warden, and as soon as he saw the slightest nod from the mage, he told him to head to the tavern. He did as he was told, and what he found was something completely unexpected.

Sat, as if waiting for him, were Nathaniel, Oghren and Sigrun. He was greeted with open arms, knowing smiles and plenty of dwarven ale. They told him that they had been waiting for him to come before they went into the Deep Roads. It only seemed fitting that they all went together, considering that they’d come into it together.

Anders asked after the Commander, but Nate told him that she’d gone on her Calling with Alistair a few weeks ago. She’d wanted to wait so that she could go with all of her friends, but she couldn’t hold out. The mage was just glad that his old friend wasn’t alone when she left. They raised a toast in her name and in Velanna’s, whom had been killed in action seven years earlier, before they all retired to their rooms. They would rest the night here and go into the Deep Roads in the morning.

When the door to the tavern opened, none of them paid much attention, expecting it to be just another dwarf. But when a wry smile came across Nathaniel’s face, and he gave Anders a look, the mage looked around.

“Hawke,” he expected his heart to drop at the sight of her, but it started to pound in his chest. He got to his feet, stumbling over his chair towards her. He couldn’t believe she was here… But why was she here? She walked to meet him, but as he expected to embrace her, her hand shot out and she slapped him hard across the cheek. “What in Andraste’s name was that for?” he asked, hissing in pain.

Tears were in her eyes, “You do not get to decide whether I can say goodbye to you or not. _You_ don’t get to make that decision.”

Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around her and she clung onto him, burying her face in his chest as she started to sob. He stroked her hair slowly, “I’m sorry,” he whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

They stayed the night in the tavern with the other Wardens, but it was the next morning when Anders tried to leave again that he found out her true reason behind coming here. It wasn’t just to say goodbye.

“Hawke, you’re not coming with me,” he told her, feeling horrified at the thought.

 “What do you expect me to do, Anders?” she asked, “Live on for the next thirty years alone? Remarry? Have a family with someone else?”

“No, but-”

“Our children are all grown up now. They won’t want to stay at home much longer. For the last thirty years, I have done _nothing_ but stick by you. We have been through so much together, and I can’t do it without you. This is what I want, Anders,” she told him, putting a hand on his cheek and looking into his eyes, “This is my choice.”

He saw the familiar fire in her eyes and he knew that there was no way he would win this argument. Even if they disputed over it, she would follow him anyway. They walked hand in hand together towards the entrance to the Deep Roads where they met Nate, Oghren and Sigrun. Only twice before had Hawke been into the Deep Roads, and she knew that her third time would be her last. But this was what she wanted. Her and Anders. Until the very end.

***

It had been a valiant fight until the end. They more darkspawn they felled, the more seemed to appear. They lost Sigrun first. A group of Shrieks had surrounded her and there had been nothing they could do. Oghren was the next to go, bravely taking on what was possibly the biggest Ogre that Hawke had ever seen. When Nathaniel was killed by an Emissary that had appeared out of the shadows, Anders knew that this couldn’t go on for much longer. Either he was going to lose Hawke, or she was going to be left alone down here.

They had been walking in silence through the tunnels for nearly an hour, Hawke trailing slightly behind Anders, when she collapsed. As soon as he heard the noise, Anders spun around and saw the blood stain on her abdomen. He knelt beside her, preparing a healing spell but when he saw the wound, he knew that she was beyond healing magic. She sat, propped up against the cavern wall, smiling weakly at him, “It’s just a scratch.”

“How long ago did this happen?” he asked.

“When Sigrun was attacked,” she said, gasping with pain, “I thought it would be fine…”

“You should never have followed me,” he whispered, resting his forehead against hers, healing the wound as best he could but he knew it was only postponing the inevitable.

She hummed, her laughter seeming an odd noise in this miserable place, “Thirty years too late to be saying that, you silly mage.”

He helped her onto her feet, and she walked with the aid of his staff, leaning against it so that she didn’t fall again. Anders mind was too busy worrying about Hawke to notice the buzz in his brain warning him of the darkspawn horde waiting in the dark for them.

Even now, at the end of all things, Justice was silent.


End file.
